Estimated reading time: 3 minutes

As a feminist speaking coach, I often work with clients who identify as introverted and struggle to speak up with confidence. While introversion and lacking confidence are often used interchangeably, they are distinctly different. 

Introversion is a preference for quiet environments, solitude, and deep thinking. Lacking confidence, however, is a feeling of insecurity or doubt in one’s abilities or ideas – for example, imposter syndrome.

Let’s start with some ways you can identify if you’re unconfident or an introvert. 

Introverts tend to enjoy their own company, enjoying time at home or in a small group rather than going to a loud social scene. Introverts also feel at ease with familiar people and situations – going somewhere new and meeting new people might feel highly intimidating to an introvert. If this sounds like you, you’re likely a default introvert. 

On the other hand, if you avoid new or challenging situations and find yourself second-guessing your decisions, you may simply be lacking confidence. Unconfident individuals often feel an inability to speak up in social situations or express their opinions for fear of criticism or rejection. Telling yourself you’re not good enough or that you’ll never succeed? You may be lacking confidence.

For our introverted friends:

You would most benefit from scheduling quiet time after your social interactions so you have time to recharge. You’d also benefit from keeping your schedule limited on the number of large social gatherings you attend back to back. As an introvert, you need the time in between meetings and gatherings to re-energize yourself so you can give fully in the next situation. 

For our friends who want to build confidence:

You would benefit from setting small goals for speaking up. For example, when you run an errand, make it a goal to speak to one stranger about the weather or something you’re buying. You’ll likely never see this person again, so the stakes are low. In addition, you can make a list of your strengths. What are at least 10 things you’re moderately good at or know something about? Start this list and write down as many things as you can…and no less than 10!

You can be both introverted and unconfident – these are not mutually exclusive. In either case, you’ll want to start with small, manageable changes for any improvements you seek. For all of my clients, I recommend the small talk exercise, so please go out into the world and say something to someone new. For an extra challenge, do this 7 days in a row. It will get much easier each time. I’d love to hear how it goes for you – please send me an email or DM!

~April

april@semiconventional.com

Insta: @semi.conventional 

https://www.linkedin.com/in/april-lokar/